365 days of 20 years
i started to see myself through my own eyes instead of others' i took small steps forward and even more backwards i fell more in love with the world around me and learned that nothing should be taken for granted i spiraled, i saw and heard what wasn't there, my delusions became frequent visitors i made many changes to my life and experienced what it feels like to grow in lock-step with my ideal self i broke my own heart and allowed others to break it for me i lost a friend on my first day of 20 and he's lived in my heart ever since i lost a friend when i was 7 hours from home and i never returned back to him i sacrificed my well being for the pursuit of hedonism and learned who i wasn't more than who i was i resented myself, i forgave myself i hurt myself, i hugged myself perhaps more than ever, i learned that i am up and i am down but never in between and i've learned to embrace it and become friends with myself i've learned that my intensity doesn't always follow through i've learned to be careful with my words i've compromised before negotiation and later realized my buying power it makes me emotional arriving at 21 i don't like growing up but the pause button is broken and i'm sick of rewinding and fast-forwarding so i will let it play and turn up the volume this is life in stereo and i will sing along as long as my heart beats and the world spins & to the stars and sun and moon, thank you for letting me see another year thank you for having me thank you for keeping me thank you for listening to me thank you for looking out for me
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